The Weight of Leadership in Tough Times
I’ll never forget one particular evening about a year ago. I had just gotten home from work, completely drained from a rough day where nothing went as planned. As I stepped through the door, my eight-year-old daughter came running up to me, excited to show me a drawing she’d made. My three-year-old son was crying in the background because he couldn’t find his favorite toy, and my one-year-old daughter was fussing in my wife’s arms.
I wanted to retreat—to tell them I needed a moment, to hide in the garage, or to claim exhaustion and just sit on the couch. But as I looked at my daughter’s hopeful eyes, I realized something: even when I’m struggling, my family still needs me. That night, I learned a critical lesson about leadership—it’s not about being perfect, but about showing up.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t have the strength to lead your family, this article is for you. Let’s talk about how you can find the strength to lead, even when life feels overwhelming.
Acknowledge the Struggle Without Giving Up
The Danger of Pretending You’re Fine
As men, we’re often taught to tough it out, to keep our struggles to ourselves. But pretending you’re fine when you’re not only deepens the divide between you and your family. I’ve tried the “silent sufferer” route, and all it did was leave me feeling isolated and misunderstood.
One evening, after snapping at my wife over something trivial, I finally admitted, “I’m just overwhelmed right now.” Her response wasn’t judgment; it was compassion. That moment taught me that vulnerability doesn’t weaken your leadership—it strengthens it.
Communicate Honestly
Your family doesn’t need to know every detail of your struggles, but they do need honesty. When you’re upfront about how you’re feeling, it helps them understand your actions and creates a space for mutual support.
For example, I recently told my daughter, “Daddy’s had a tough day, but I’m here and want to hear about your drawing.” That small moment of honesty allowed me to connect with her while also acknowledging my own feelings.
Christian Perspective
Remember the words of 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” God doesn’t expect perfection from us—He works through our struggles.
Lean on Your Faith and Core Values
Strength Through Prayer and Reflection
During one of the toughest seasons of my life, I started ending each day with five minutes of prayer. It became a lifeline—a moment where I could lay my burdens down and ask for guidance. Sometimes, I’d include my eight-year-old daughter, letting her hear me ask for strength and wisdom. Those prayers didn’t just help me; they also showed her that it’s okay to seek help when you need it.
Ground Yourself in Your Values
When everything feels chaotic, your core values become an anchor. For me, those values are integrity, service, and love. They remind me why I lead my family in the first place—to guide them with kindness, to serve them selflessly, and to always act with honesty.
Take a moment to reflect: What values define your leadership? Write them down and keep them visible, whether it’s on your phone, your desk, or your bathroom mirror.
Practical Habits to Stay Grounded
Develop a Grounding Morning Routine
Mornings are often hectic at our house. Between my one-year-old crying for breakfast and my three-year-old wanting to “help” make coffee, it can feel like a whirlwind. But I’ve learned to wake up 15 minutes earlier to ground myself. I’ll journal, stretch, or read a short devotional. Those few moments of quiet give me the clarity I need to tackle the day.
If mornings are chaotic for you too, start small—wake up just five minutes earlier and do something that calms your mind.
Prioritize Physical Health
During a particularly tough stretch, I realized I was neglecting my health. I wasn’t eating right, I wasn’t exercising, and it was taking a toll on my mood and energy. I started small—just a 10-minute walk after dinner. Over time, it became a habit, and it helped me feel more capable as a leader.
Even simple physical activity can do wonders for your mental state. Find something that works for you and stick with it.
Establish Boundaries
It’s tempting to take on everything, especially if you’re trying to “prove” your strength. But saying yes to everything doesn’t make you a better leader—it makes you burned out. I’ve learned to set boundaries, like saying no to extra commitments when I know I’m already stretched thin.
Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re necessary to protect your ability to lead effectively.
Lead Through Presence, Not Perfection
Show Up, Even When It’s Hard
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being there. One evening, after a long day, I sat on the floor with my three-year-old and built a block tower with him. It wasn’t much, but in that moment, I realized that my presence mattered more than anything I could say or do.
Your family doesn’t need you to solve every problem. They just need you to show up.
Listen Without Fixing
Sometimes, my eight-year-old daughter just wants to talk—about school, her favorite books, or something that upset her. I’ve learned that she doesn’t always need advice; she just needs me to listen. As men, we’re wired to fix things, but leadership at home often means being a sounding board instead of a problem-solver.
Find Strength in Community
Lean on Trusted Relationships
During one of the hardest seasons of my life, I joined a men’s group at church. I didn’t expect much at first, but those weekly conversations became a source of strength. Hearing other men share their struggles and victories reminded me I wasn’t alone.
Whether it’s a friend, mentor, or group, find people who can encourage and support you. Leadership isn’t a solo act.
Involve Your Family in Prayer
Recently, my eight-year-old suggested we say a bedtime prayer together as a family. It was a simple act, but it brought us closer and reminded all of us that we’re in this together. Don’t underestimate the power of shared faith in strengthening your family bond.
Focus on the Bigger Picture
Challenges Shape Your Legacy
Tough seasons don’t last, but the way you lead through them leaves a lasting impact. I’ve seen this firsthand—my kids remember the times I showed up for them even when I was struggling, not the times I got everything perfect.
Keep the Long-Term Vision in Mind
Leadership is about more than just surviving today; it’s about building a foundation for the future. Remember, every small act of love, service, and presence is part of the legacy you’re creating.
Take One Step Forward Today
Leadership isn’t about perfection—it’s about intentionality. When you’re struggling, take one small step forward. Whether it’s starting a grounding habit, opening up to your spouse, or praying with your kids, every step matters.
Remember, you’re not alone. Your family values your effort, even when you don’t feel strong. Lean on your faith, your values, and your community. And most importantly, show up. Your leadership legacy starts now.
You’ve got this.
-Daniel Moore
The Gentle Warriors 
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